{radical love}

ended up taking brooke to another hospital in a larger, neighboring city. it definitely redeemed my first hospital experience with her earlier this week. for starters, they actually had pediatric specialists. met with the head of pediatric surgery and her helpful colleague who could speak some english. the unfortunate news...physicians continue to confirm that she needs a liver transplant. (but these physicians were super caring, valued her life and verbalized the tragedy of the situation.) surgeon's best guess was that she'd maybe live a year or two without a transplant.

contact was made with a place in beijing that has done pediatric liver transplants, as well as a proposal to go to USA for treatment, but no success with either thus far. from what i can tell now, her only option is if someone were to adopt her. yep, it would require a crazy leap of faith, radical love, and come with absolutely no guarantees.  

i'd be lying if i said i haven't already been praying about this myself, prior to even knowing the latest regarding her (lack of) treatment options. but all those thoughts are too much for this post. at the end of the day, i must surrender her to whatever god has planned for her life and trust that he'll make that clear in his timing.

i'm extending my stay in beiliu this month to accompany her for a week-long hospital stay that will be starting in a few days. they want to improve her nutrition/hydration and some other things (that i'm not yet fully understanding), in attempt to optimize her current health and buy her some additional time?

i'm loving her as best as i know how, and it is so rewarding when i see her starting to come to life, so-to-speak. while her serious face still prevails, i have experienced both smiles and laughter. she will now coo to get my attention when she sees me in her room. and today, i felt her first tooth. as she becomes attached to me, some things inevitably become harder... she now cries and cries and cries when i put her back in her crib at night. and unfortunately this isn't sleep training; it is truly heartbreaking.

andrew, a preemie, arrived at the orphanage yesterday. after determining that his best chance would be with a foster mom, i proceeded into the city to hunt down a few necessary things. was able to buy some slow flow avent bottles and some nestle premature infant formula. they would never buy these things, first because they have no knowledge of how or why these things are important. (they had already fed him once: formula+rice cereal, nipple with cut hole, lying flat on his back, with bottle propped up on his stomach, held in place with towels. not ideal for any baby, but especially not for this one!) and second, these "specialty" items are extremely expensive for the average chinese person.  

was able to train the foster mom and provide her with the supplies i had purchased. she actually asked great questions and seemed to "get" what i was saying. she practiced feeding him once before they left and it went great. (we did contact a place in beijing that specializes in the care of premature orphans, so that may also be in his future.) 

despite the tears and gut-wrenching heartache that this work week elicited, this was probably also the best week i've had since arriving (if those two can occur simultaneously). hospital settings and most all-things baby related are very easy for me, so it was great in terms of being comfortable/familiar with things and feeling like my skill set/expertise were being put to good use.

**PRAYER REQUESTS**

brooke:

pray for a miracle!

pray for miraculous healing of her liver (and that god would forgive anyone like me who 

sometimes has too little faith in his healing powers)  

pray for her need of a forever family and medical treatment

andrew:

pray that he'd steadily grow and gain weight well

pray that his foster mom would be attentive and able to care for his more-than-the-average-newborn needs

pray that if the beijing home is a better fit for him long-term, that they'd accept him 

me:

pray that i'd find rest and peace in god's sovereignty

pray that i'd love and care for brooke well while we're in the hospital 

pray that i'd be a demonstration and voice of god's love to everyone at the hospital (earlier this week, both staff and parents of other patients were coming out of the woodwork to "have a look" at the foreigner holding the chinese baby.)