{snippets}

below are a few subjects that are currently "drafts" on my blog, but have not evolved into actual posts due to time. and because it may not happen before i finish my stay here, thought i'd at least share as snippets...


{adoption is second best}
i often remind myself that adoption exists because of the fallen world we live in. because otherwise, as good as adoption can be, it can ever compare to a child being loved and cared for by their own parents. adoption is, and will always be, second best.  


{real answers to real questions}
no, i'm not a spy! do i look like a spy?

and no, americans don't adopt children from china to conduct lab experiments. yes, this even applies to families adopting children with special needs; they are NOT doing so for the purpose of furthering science somewhere. 

(unfortunately all these answers have been used on more than one occasion.) 


{gotcha day}
i've never been a fan of that adoption terminology which many use to mark the day a child enters their adoptive family. and now that i've experienced all that i have these past few months... i think it is fair to say i strongly dislike the phrase. 

amongst other opinions, i feel the phrase significantly belittles all that a child has gone through and makes them sound like an object of a game such as "tag" or "hot potato." no judgement to those who use this phrase, but if i ever have the privilege of adopting some day... there will be no "gotcha day."


{don't forget the foster moms}
i've witnessed two different foster moms as they've had to say good-bye to four different children being adopted. and i cannot begin to describe what i observed. 

not that any length of time is easier than another, but in two of the situations the girls had been a part of their foster family for 6(!!) years. can you imagine caring for a child as your own, and then, after six years, having to say good-bye? and unfortunately, due to culture, language, socio-economic status and educational differences (that limit the likelihood of keeping in touch via technology, even if it were allowed/encouraged), these "good-byes" may be forever.

  

  

{a therapist's nightmare}

while i was away a few weeks ago, one of the children had some sort of episode where her foster mom said she "turned blue". she was taken to the hospital for a work-up, but from what i've gathered nothing concrete was determined. the only thing they said was to return to the hospital for "therapy" twice a week.

yesterday i was asked if could take her, as there was a shortage in nannies. sure, i thought; not only do i want to help out whenever i can, but i'm also always up for seeing what "therapy" looks like in this country.

the first 30 minutes involved a "therapist" repeating this set routine of movements (3-4 times thru) to jennifer. it consisted of a lot of quick passive range of motion exercises to arms, legs and neck, pulling and pushing on her extremities, vigorous and firm deep tissue massage(?), putting her in positions (e.g. prone on extended arms) and holding her there for minutes at a time, and doing a few pull-to-sits and facilitating her rolling from back to belly (but done so quickly there was no chance for her to engage her muscles). 

oh, and the last 30 minutes consisted of them putting electrodes on each of her shoulders/upper arms and hooking her up to some form of electrical stimulation while i held her.

UGH! i wanted to scream. and jennifer, she did cry and/or scream for probably all but 1-2 minutes of the entire hour, along with every other child that i observed while i was there. (sometimes kids do cry during therapy, but this was different and wrong on so many levels; i'd actually hypothesize this "therapy" may be detrimental to their development.)

the therapist never once engaged jennifer or even spoke to her for that matter. there were no toys. and probably <5 minutes (giving them the benefit of the doubt) of the hour was spent doing anything remotely related to her learning to use her muscles for something purposeful/playful/developmental.

and the most scary part... jennifer's limitations (she does have delayed motor skills) matched nothing that was addressed during this "therapy" session. for example, her range of motion is perfectly within normal ranges. but this cookie cutter "routine" was performed on every child that came in, regardless of the therapist and regardless of the child's diagnosis. 

needless to say, i tried to dialogue with the therapists but my language skills weren't proficient enough. :(  i'm sure all they're thinking is there is no way this lady is really a physical therapist in america.  

i informed the orphanage yesterday that i would not take her back there. if they wanted to, they could, but this was not something i would do for them. (and i explained why, in my professional opinion, it was less than ideal...but that i'd gladly keep doing physical therapy with her while i'm at the orphanage.)  

  

jennifer gave me this smile during our therapy session today!

{who's next}

after taking cameron and andrew to foster homes and hearing the news that a family was committed to adopting brooke, my dad asked me, "who's next?" he knows that i often have (at least) one child that i'm strongly advocating for (beyond just adoption, but with some sort of unique medical needs); he wanted to know who the next one was.

at the time i didn't have anyone in particular. however, within the last 48 hours, two different children's need have come to my attention.

the first is a little girl with severe scoliosis who i'm gonna call esther. i actually met her a few weeks ago while traveling with some staff from nightlight. she was one of the children we interviewed for the summer hosting program.  

upon laying my eyes on her, it was clear that she needed an orthopedic evaluation and intensive physical therapy. not only was her spine contorted in a way that looked painful (although she denied), when listening to her talk or sing it was clear that her lung capacity was compromised from the curve as well; her voice was very soft and she needed to take a breath every 1-2 seconds to get the words out.

well, i got news this morning that a proposal is being put together for her to come to the states for the very purpose of medical treatment. (she lives in a province where leaving the country without being adopted/for medical treatment might be permissible.) the email was asking if i had any idea what the cost might be and for possible contacts at shriner's or other appropriate medical institutions. (i've already sent 2 emails.)  

the second is a baby girl (hope) with biliary atresia (similar to brooke) who is being housed in a neighboring city's orphanage. she too has been given a very poor prognosis (which she's already outlived) from the local physicians and, from the sounds of it, needs a life-saving miracle. the friend who met her is familiar with brooke's story and told me about her; we've been brainstorming ideas to help save her. (we should have updated labs and an ultrasound by tomorrow.) please read more about her and see pictures in link below:

http://itsamercifullife.blogspot.com/2014/12/knowing-hope.html?spref=fb

i have NO idea what god has in store for these 2 precious girls with very different medical needs. on one hand, doubt enters in and i question if god would do it again? would he move mountains and orchestrate details (that seem impossible) to provide them with life-giving medical treatment. but on the other hand, i've witnessed him do amazing things these past 3 months, so why should i (even for a second) doubt his abilities or, even more specifically, his willingness to do it again?

these two children weren't on my radar and aren't even at this orphanage, but i think esther and hope might be the answer to my dad's question of "who's next?" join me in praying for them while i work to network and help advocate for their needs. 

{update: brooke}

developmental update: she's gone from pushing up on her forearms in prone to crawling everywhere, sitting independently, pulling herself up to stand, and starting to cruise. she's eating from a spoon, babbling and expressing herself in many ways, and has recently learned to clap her hands. 

medical update: her liver failure doesn't appear to be getting worse. in fact, the most recent labs indicate some slight improvement (which i attribute to improved hydration/nutrition, love and jesus, of course.)

forever family update: she has one and her adoption is being expedited due to her medical circumstances; it is only a matter of time before she's home!

{step onto the stage}

(a piece i wrote for a newsletter about a month ago; figured it wouldn't hurt to post it here.)


i remember lying on my hotel bed in china last fall, unable to get the 5 year-old girl's story out of my head. gloria had been matched with a family, but when they arrived in china to adopt her, they suddenly couldn't go forward with the adoption. not only was her hope of a family suddenly gone, but this also meant that her much needed heart surgery was on-hold, indefinitely.

questions flooded my mind...would she get matched with another family? would it happen soon enough? (she was clearly demonstrating signs of heart failure.) how long could her heart last? why hadn't she already had surgery?

i remember feeling helpless, but asking the team leader of our short-term trip if i could send an email to a friend. i wanted to investigate any options for her to get surgery while still an orphan in china.

just before our time at the orphanage ended, we found some children behind locked doors on the 2nd floor. it didn't take long to realize they were not getting the same opportunities for interaction and nutrition as compared to the other children.

it was there that i first met timothy, a boy of an uncertain age (3-4?) who was severely malnourished. although he clearly demonstrated some classic institutionalized behaviors and didn't walk or talk, there were times he would smile, mimic my facial expressions, and even laugh. he was aware of his surroundings and when a nanny would walk by with food, he'd practically leap out of my lap. i was convinced he was trapped inside his frail body.

i was feeling helpless, again. not knowing if it would make a difference, i explained to the orphanage directors that timothy was my favorite; he should get to sleep on the 3rd floor where the other kids sleep, eat when they eat, etc.

i left china in november 2013 with a very heavy heart. i could not keep from wondering what was going to happen to all the children we met, but especially gloria and timothy. i told their stories over and over and just continued to pray and ask others to do the same.

over the next several months i had a front row seat as god undeniably orchestrated his love and care for these specific children. during these months god also invited me to step onto the stage of caring for orphans; he led me to take a 4-month sabbatical from my hospital job in chicago (as a pediatric physical therapist) and return to china.

i'm currently in the midst of those 4 months, working on behalf of nighlight christian adoptions at one of their partnership orphanages. i'm providing physical therapy, advocating for medical needs, being a voice, and doing whatever else comes up while loving the children and orphanage staff.  

there are moments and even days when i feel extremely frustrated here (from the orphanage itself to the healthcare system to the cultural view toward life and disability at-large) and that same sense of helplessness comes over me. and just when i'm at a loss and feeling there are no options for a specific child's needs... god faithfully shows up and AMAZES me!

so far, god paved the way for me to get both a 6-month-old with severe failure-to-thrive and a premature baby to different foster homes that can more specifically meet their needs. god also provided a forever family for a little girl who needs a liver transplant and has no options for life-saving treatment here in china.

and what about gloria and timothy? the orphanage followed through with the information we provided them and gloria received her heart surgery in china. shortly thereafter she was matched with her forever family, and is now living with them in texas.

the orphanage took timothy to the doctor, started keeping him on the 3rd floor with the other children, and then allowed him to be transferred to a foster home where he is now thriving. he too has been matched and will be meeting his forever family very soon.

can you see that god is saving them one-by-one? i've never been more convinced of god's love for orphans. he's moving mountains and performing miracles so that people will praise his name and these children might experience his love through a forever family.

where are you sitting in regard to caring for orphans... the balcony, an aisle seat of the middle section, or maybe third row center? wherever you are, i'd like to invite you to move closer, or even to step onto the stage. i can't promise it'll be easy or comfortable, but it's guaranteed to turn your life upside-down, leave you forever changed, and provide you with a more intimate understanding of the god who has graciously adopted us as his sons and daughters.  

{update: cameron}

no words needed for this one.

a special shout out to haven of hope and the amazing work their staff and foster families are doing. cameron's progress makes my heart happy!