{how's the race?}

3 years ago today, glo met jesus face-to-face. 

my habit for this day includes rereading what i shared at her service (see below). while it still elicits an emotional response, this year i can honestly say it also encompasses gratitude for the ways in which i see god's goodness and faithfulness prevailing. 

don't get me wrong, i miss glo deeply! there are days i still selfishly long for her laughter or her wisdom or simply her presence to do life with. or moments when her (now) 6-year-old daughter asks me why people get sick... and die, that i desperately wish glo were here so that her daughter's frame of reference would be limited to elderly, great grandparents (and not include her mother). 

it will probably never make sense to me this side of heaven, but i choose to trust in a god whose actions and wisdom are described by a.w. tozer as:

All God’s acts are done in perfect wisdom, first for His own glory, and then for the highest good of the greatest number for the longest time. And all His acts are pure as they are wise, and as good as they are wise and pure….   

Wisdom, among other things, is the ability to devise perfect ends and to achieve those ends by the most perfect means. It sees the end from the beginning, so there can be no need to guess or conjecture. Wisdom sees everything in focus, each in proper relation to all, and is thus able to work toward predestined goals with flawless precision.     

today i'm simply thankful for god's grace that has kept me running this race. and reflecting on how fast this life is going by, wondering if i'm stewarding well all that he's blessed and entrusted me with. hoping and praying that when my day comes, i too will have finished well and will be found faithful in the eye's of my savior.

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my name is april, and i met gloria 13 years ago. somewhere between then and now we became the best of friends, probably even more like sisters.

many of you are thinking there is NO WAY i’m gonna get through this speech. call me crazy, but this afternoon i could sense glo’s encouragement… it was like i could almost hear her voice telling me i can do it, like i’ve heard so many times before.  :)   

honestly, i still can’t believe i’m standing here before you all doing this. it was just over 6 short years ago that i was giving the toast at her wedding. that was a huge honor. over the past few days I’ve come to realize, despite the deep pain and sadness, what an even greater honor it is to speak here on gloria’s behalf… for her life WELL lived. 

from the overwhelming amount of support i’ve received in the past few days in emails and fb messages (some from people i’ve never even met) and reading the unending posts, it is clearer than ever that glo left an imprint on nearly everyone she came into contact with! the number of people here tonight, alone, is a testament to this. and most of you aren’t here just out of obligation. i bet you each have a story, if not numerous ones, to share about glo.

we’d probably ALL comment about her big beautiful smile, her contagious laugh, her love of music and of life itself.   

some of you might remember the little girl who grew up as a tomboy, tagging along with her older brothers. or maybe the high school girl wearing her jordan tank over a t-shirt, with her baseball cap. northwestern friends are definitely envisioning glo in her overalls. and on another day, maybe a different pair. did she have a pair of overalls for each day of the week? also during college and campus crusade years, she was probably never far from her guitar. music was already a huge part of her life by then… if not leading worship, singing in an a cappella group…can you still hear her beautiful voice?  

although you’d hear her talk about failing organic chemistry TWICE… you never heard her talking much about going to harvard…maybe just a school “near boston”.   

and i have to mention her sunglasses. does anyone know when glo first started wearing them on her head… in every season… most every day of the year?

on a more serious note, glo was a friend to me like no other. we met under unique circumstances, doing missions in china. due to illness and a very serious accident that occurred within the first few weeks, glo quickly became the only single girl left on her team. i think i befriended her initially, partly due to the circumstances, but soon i realized god was cultivating what would become my most cherished friendship.

i can’t say enough about glo as my friend…she was super encouraging; my biggest fan! she valued me and cared about ALL the details of my life. she was always quick to point out god’s faithfulness in my past and remind me of his promises for my future. her voice alone could brighten my worst days. she was always patient and willing to offer assistance when I was flustered or stressed out. she knew my shortcomings, insecurities, sins… and she still loved and believed in me! she spoke truth with gentleness. she pursued holiness and inspired me to do the same. her singing, musical talents and style of leading worship… for me, no one will ever compare. over time she remained genuine, authentic, humble and committed to our friendship. even at the end, she continued to care about me and my life, despite everything going on in her’s.

glo and i did enjoy getting pedicures and going to concerts together… but what i’m really gonna miss most is just doing life together… with someone who completely “gets” me…running errands, talking about our days, praying, catching up on favorite tv shows, laughing, serving together, taking the girls to the park, even returning her pages when I’m at the hospital…

my most prized possessions from glo are her written words. i have more than 50 cards and letters from over the years. many express appreciation and gratitude, are rooted in scripture and biblical truths, and conclude with some challenge to press on. others contain a confession of sins or even ask for my forgiveness. they represent our friendship thru life’s peaks and valleys… and most importantly that we learned to live out the gospel towards one another. our friendship was far from perfect; but by god’s grace it grew to be something uniquely special. 

one thank you note glo wrote to me while in china mentioned proverbs 17:17 “a friend loves as all times.” she mentioned how too often people leave off the second half of the verse… “and a brother [or sister] is born for adversity.” she went on to express gratitude to god for my being there with her during that super hard year. her last written note to me (that she composed from the hospital) shared that very same verse, again emphasizing the second half. and more than I want to admit it, “adversity” seemed to perfectly bookend our earthly friendship. although that may sound unfortunate to some, there is a sweetness to relationships that have endured both time and adversities, and my relationship with glo did both; it was PRETTY SWEET! 

i experienced much joy and inspiration watching glo in her role as both wife and mom. yet more examples of how she set the bar high for everything she did.

as a wife i observed glo being actively engaged in bettering her marriage, prioritizing time spent with chad, and not settling for average. she may not have cleaned or cooked much, but she loved chad well and lived out a commitment to the marriage covenant that is, too often, unparalleled.

as a mom, glo was the best! she demonstrated unmatched patience and gentleness, silliness and laughter balanced well with discipline, and the grace and unconditional love that allowed kelissa to feel secure and thrive. she also fully surrendered and entrusted her children to god… not only was this lived out during karinna’s 100-day long hospitalization, but also the night before glo went to the ER. that night she told me that if anything ever happened to her, she was confident GOD would take care of the girls, and that they’d be that much more “special” because of it. as our hearts break when we think about kelissa and karinna growing up without their mother, i hope knowing that glo was confident of god’s provision and care for them, will help put our hearts at ease. glo would be quick to remind us that they have an amazing earthly father too!

most importantly, as god’s child, gloria understood her identify in christ. she understood the gospel beyond the power of salvation alone. she was obedient. she did not question the goodness or faithfulness of god’s character, even in her darkest times. from the time i met glo in china until god took her home this past tuesday night, she lived out a desire to glorify god in her life, in all things. in the past few months, when her health was more quickly deteriorating, she sometimes struggled to ask people to pray for her healing. she was specifically concerned that god’s name might be defamed if people prayed and he didn’t heal her in the way we think of. god DID NOT restore gloria’s life on this earth, but he DID heal her completely. i can’t speak for every single person whose heard her story, but it seems like god’s name is being proclaimed in a deeper and more powerful way! and this would make her happy; this is what gloria lived for. 

despite my selfish longings to see and talk to glo again, I’m genuinely thankful glo is now in the presence of our King, she knows no pain or suffering, and is doing what she does best—worshipping!

for the rest of us still left on this earth, there will be mourning and sadness in the days, weeks and months to come. for those of us who believe in jesus, his death and resurrection, may we cling even tighter to the eternal hope we have. may glo’s life example cause nothing but perseverance and encouragement for EACH of us to finish the race well. and if you don’t know jesus, I’ll leave you to ponder this question... for gloria to DESIRE to leave her husband, her two beautiful daughters, her friends and family to be with jesus, doesn’t he have to be better than anything this world has to offer?

glo, I did it!!! 

glo, I love you, I won’t stop missing you, and by god’s grace I WILL see you again in heaven some day.